I'm Never Letting You Go
by lovely.vampire101
Summary: As my eyes scanned him to see if this was an illusion, I realized this could not be...I felt him nod against my chest and I tightened my hold around him. Feeling his arms wrap around me, I whispered, "I'm never letting you go again. Never."  IchixHitsu


**_IMPORTANT A/N:_ Hello guys. I'm sorry I have not posted for a while, but some stuff happened. For those of you who have read the A/N at the beginning of one of my chapters for Love and Hate know that my grandma had lung cancer. Well, on July 18 at 8:22 in the morning, she passed away. While yes it was a month ago I am currently un-mused. I have lost my muse for my other stories for the moment and until my muse comes back they will be on a short Hiatus. I know this is not what you want to hear but don't worry. I am still going to write it is just that for the time being I have nothing to write about.**

**I wrote this one-shot though to express my sense of loss if you will. Also I started school (I am now a senior thank god) so I'm not sure what my schedule will be. But like I said above do not worry. I'm not abandoning my fics. So read, enjoy, and please leave a review. They let me know if this was any good or not.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. I just own plushies and the movies. And I am content.  
**

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The wind was cold as it tore through the town. I knew it was cold, yet I could not feel its wintery touch. Being near you for so long has made me immune to it. But as I stood there looking out at the water, there were so many differences between this coldness and yours.

With yours, it was a more comforting cold than anything else. It made me feel protected and loved while with others it frightened them. Your cold power, while it made others shiver, only made me feel content. It made me feel as if the pain that I had endured was nothing. Only a distant memory.

This cold, this, weather coldness was something else entirely. It made me feel as if I was a fool. As if the pain I thought I could escape was always there, like a shadow. And in some way, it was.

As I tore my gaze away from the still water, I walked across the bridge to the small garden. It was nearing winter, a season that reminded me so much of you that it hurt. I wanted nothing more than to hide, hide until this season was gone. But that would be admitting that we could never be together again. Something I did not want to admit.

A cold breeze slowly flowed past my exposed face, making it seem as if it was caressing me. How I wish it was you instead. As I looked at a flower bush, I could not help but smile a little. The white rose looked so much like your hair, it made me remember the time I complimented it, and how you blushed.

Walking past the bush I stopped at the edge of the park, looking at the city we had saved. It seemed so long ago. As if we had done it in a past life. To my heart, it seemed that way. Walking down the sloping path, I recalled a memory of when I brought you to the gravesite. To my mother. How I wanted you to meet her, and how I wanted her to meet you. We both knew her soul was gone, but you had talked to her as well, making me feel so much love and happiness that I knew should she be here, she would have been happy for me as well.

I stopped as this memory broke. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Maybe it was. Looking at the sky I allowed my grief to overwhelm again. Looking down, I was shocked to feel tears on my face. When did I start crying? I didn't know. Nor did I know how long I had been standing there. As I continued walking I felt the tears that I had held back for years come forth.

How I wanted to see you again. How I wanted to hold you, to touch you, to be with you. I stopped again as my grief became too great.

How could they do this? How could they not let me be with you when I had done so much for them? When I had almost gave up my life to protect them! I closed my eyes has those thoughts that I had abandoned long ago rose to the surface. I wanted to scream. To let the world know my agony. To let _them_ know my pain.

Bringing my head down, I stood there, letting my grief out. I missed you. So much so that I wonder if death would bring me release. At least in death I would be able to go where you were.

Hearing footsteps behind me I quickly opened my eyes and started and walking. For the past few years my friends always followed me, keeping an eye on me in case I did something. What I do not know, but it is irritating. They do not realize that after that battle my powers grew, and before I knew it, I had control over everything. Over my senses, and most importantly my hollow. They still thought I could not sense their spiritual pressure, when in fact I could. Suppressing my own, I continued walking until I hit the town.

Taking the long way home, I stopped at the park near the pond where I took you for our anniversary. It had been in the winter, so that you could relax more, and you had. Staring at the spot where we had sat, I felt the emptiness inside me grow bigger.

Already I forgot how your voice sounded, that wintery smell that always clinged to you, the way you would blush at something I said, and the way your eyes would sparkle every time I told you that I loved you. Those memories were still there of course, but they were fading. I forgot how you fit in my arms, how you would smile or laugh. But most importantly I forgot your voice.

Turning away from the painful memory, I continued walking. Not realizing someone else was there, I continued walking until I heard someone call my name.

"Kurosaki."

I froze, not daring to believe that voice belonged to who I thought it did. Part of my wanted to turn around, to see if he was really there. Another part said no, it was just a trick of my mind. The hollow was probably doing it. But…

My hollow was no longer in my mind. We had become one right after the war. He would not be able to conjure this up unless I did it too.

Turning around slowly, I prepared myself to see nothing but the park. However when I finished turning, my throat closed as I felt my heart stutter to a stop.

There, standing in all his power and in his element, was Toshiro. As my eyes scanned him to see if this was an illusion, I realized this could not be. He had grown taller; his head would no doubt reach my chin now. His hair was still defying gravity, though it looked even whiter. But the thing that had not changed was his eyes. His eyes were still that beautiful shade of teal.

"Kurosaki."

God how I missed his voice. At once memories assaulted me and I remembered how his voice sounded when he was admonishing me for something, how his voice sounded when he was happy, how it sounded when we were in the throes of passion…and how it sounded when he said I love you.

"…" My voice was caught in my throat as I stared. I could not believe it. He was here. He was really here.

"Toshiro…" My voice cracked as his name left my lips, my pain slipping through into my voice. He must have heard it for his eyes softened and guilt flashed in his eyes. Why?

"You…You're really here…" I whispered, my voice failing me as I lifted my right hand to cup his face. His skin was still soft, like a rose petal. I watched as his eyes closed and he leaned his head into my palm, his face expressing his content. My eyes fell to his hand as it rose and closed around mine, keeping it to his face.

"Yes. I'm really here." His eyes were open, staring intently into them. "I'm so sorry Ichigo. I-"

I cut him off as I crushed his body to mine, my soul singing in relief as I felt his body meld into mine. I forgot what if felt like to have his, though petite looking, body next to mine. I could feel the power and strength in it as I held him to me.

"Don't." I whispered, my nose buried into his snow white hair. "Don't."

I felt him nod against my chest and I tightened my hold around him. Feeling his arms wrap around me, I whispered,

"I'm never letting you go again. Never."

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**Okay so there you have it. Leave nice reviews please. Let me know what you think and have a good weekend everybody.**

**_In Loving Memory_**

**_Grandma Sue_**

**_July 19 1944 - July 18 2010_**

**You will be missed._  
_**


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